Thread:Fangirl111/@comment-11055585-20140817040103/@comment-5952365-20140817054226

Sorry doesn't change anything. Trust me, I would know.. *Sighs* I guess I'm just really not the same as I used to be...and I don't think I ever will be...I sure wish I could be though...I just...I just realize...I missed out on so many things that could have changed my childhood, changed my life, changed me! That would have made me someone else, someone better! Someone who's just NOT ME and I would have given ANYTHING to have it! But I CAN'T and I never will be able too! I'll never have a dad, or feel safe, I'll never be able to relax, I'll never stop being afraid, I'll never be able forget, I will ALWAYS be ready to fight for my life and kill someone, and even if I somehow find a way to use everything I learned as something good, I'll still NEVER see it as anything else then a weapon to kill or hurt someone! I'll never stop thinking of how to murder, because I will NEVER forget what I was taught! I'll never know what true love means, or how to care for someone or comfort them, all I'll ever remember and know is how to rip someone apart and destroy them! And I wish I could forget and I wish I could escape it and wish I was different and I wish I could stop blaming myself and wanting to die but I know I'll never be able to!